Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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