plz talk dirty to me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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