Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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