Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
