yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
