Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We got so high we made milksteak
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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