You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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