dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
