after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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