as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
