Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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