i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
