I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You are the jesus of drinking
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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