i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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