if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
