You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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