That's intense
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize