Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
