Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
