So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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