He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to calm my uterus...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
