Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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