whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
