Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize