I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
