Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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