Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
