i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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