All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize