I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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