im about as happy as oj after his trial
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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