make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
