Kiss
Puke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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