I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
