After last night, I could never be a politician.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
