we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
