The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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