I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
