How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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