Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
