I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
