I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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