and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
