I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
