Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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