Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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