I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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