Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
