My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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