What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
