i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
