im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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