Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry r1234 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

Fav 35 1320 15411
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

Fav 20 4278 1065
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

Fav 38 5624 1034
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

Fav 80 3758 4937
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

I gave up sex for lent.

(646): View more from New York

I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

Fav 18 1458 4785
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

Fav 16 3096 1404
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

Fav 17 3009 1070
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.

Fav 6 1013 768
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.

Fav 1 97 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT