I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
