Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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