I bet he comes in French.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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