Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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